Archive for September, 2006

I use to listen to music 24/7. And sang. Not well or even carrying a tune, but I sang. I loved all the 50’s and 60’s music, all the sappy do wop, etc. My kids knew the words to every country western song – long before that music was popular.

A few weeks ago, Cindra told me that she’d sometimes find herself singing parts of this song….
and that absolutely no one EVER knows this song. I think Auntie Caryl is the only other person I know that knows it – so here it is, Cindra. You can sing it all now, and amaze and astound your friends!


Alone until my eighteenth year
We met four springs ago
She was shy and had a fear
Of things she did not know
But we got it on together
In such a super way
We held each other close at night
And traded dreams each day
And she said,
“Rocky, I’ve never been in love before
Don’t know if I can do it
But if you let me lean on you
Take my hand, I might get through it” (through it)
I said, “Baby, oh sweet baby
It’s love that sets us free
And God knows if the world should end
Your love is safe with me”
We found an old gray house
And you would not believe the way
We worked at night to fix it up
Took classes in the day
Paintin’ walls and sippin’ wine
Sleepin’ on the floor
With so much love for just two
Soon we found there’d be one more
And she said,
“Rocky, I’ve never had a baby before
Don’t know if I can do it
But if you let me lean on you
Take my hand, I might get through it” (through it)
I said, “Baby, oh sweet baby
It’s love that sets us free
And God knows if the world should end
Your love is safe with me”
We had lots of problems then but
We had lots of fun
Like the crazy party
When our baby girl turned one
I was proud and satisfied
Life had so much to give
‘Till the day they told me
That she didn’t have long to live
She said,
“Rocky, I’ve never had to die before
Don’t know if I can do it…”
Now it’s back to two again
The little girl and I
Who looks so much like her sweet mother
Sometimes it makes me cry
I sleep alone at nights again
I walk alone each day
And sometimes when I’m about to give in
I hear her sweet voice say, to me
“Rocky, you know you’ve been alone before
You know that you can do it
But if you’d like to lean on me
Take my hand, I’ll help you through it” (through it)
I said, “Baby, oh sweet baby
It’s love that sets us free
And I told you when the world would end
Your love was safe with me”
She said,
“Rocky, you know you’ve been alone before
You know that you can do it
But if you’d like to lean on me…

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My "Secret" Garden

This was our latest, and I hope, last big project. When we came home last spring we started work on my ‘secret’ garden – and that’s what we’ve done most of the summer. We had the old 40’s garage that was beside my garden, torn down last summer. Behind where it was, we had a new shop built which gave us access to the area behind my fenced garden. I decided I wanted a ‘secret’ garden; one you could only enter by walking through my existing garden, but one that wasn’t a part of, or continuation of, the garden I had.

My hubby moved existing fence posts in the garden, so an entrance was formed; then started digging all the new fence posts. As he digs all these by hand, I’m amazed he supports my gardening. He used the tractor to level, to drag in a ‘fairy’ rock and a rock for my water feature. We hauled in sand, dirt, and 600 bricks for a small patio area. I laid every single one of those bricks! It’s not completely level by any means, but looks rather like it’s very old and has settled. I dug flower beds and planted, and then put in grass. We planted three fruit trees. What a chore that grass was….over 90 degree weather every day…I was sometimes watering it 14 times a day! But now it’s done – and I be happier.

This is the LAST big project we are going to do with the land. I hope. I’d like one summer of just watering and enjoying. It’s a big enough job taking care of the fenced areas as it is, keeping it weeded and trying to keep yard and gardens green all around the house. Am always afraid I’ll run the well dry. But…..I DID love that fresh corn….and just MAYBE I need an area to grow a lot of corn in……

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Favorite Photo

Thought I’d share one of my favorite photos. Color and clarity not of very good quality – had pretty cheap camera at that time. But the subject matter is of the HIGHEST quality!

Here are my girls, Cindra in pigtails (she no longer wears all that jewelry), and Brookie in the neat glasses (she always loved the glasses!).

They were such cute little girls. And, of course, are now beautiful women.

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An ‘Exciting’ Sighting

We had an exciting sighting at our house this morning! I’d cooked breakfast for hubby and went outside to check the garden. When I came inside, he’d finished eating and left the kitchen. I went in to clean up the dishes, looked out the window over the sink – and couldn’t believe my eyes! I saw a young moose right outside my window! This time, I didn’t yell….but I quickly went to get hubby and the camera. He looked out the window and saw another young moose – and then the mother!

We went outside to get pictures and followed the moose from one side of the house to the other side. One walked into the front yard, but turned and walked out when the motion detector sprinkler went off. Those sprinklers make the deer run – but the moose didn’t seem too affected. They didn’t seem at all interested in us – but we were SO excited and sure interested in them. We usually see one, at some time during the year, but never so close. We took pictures for about 10 minutes, before they finally crossed the road and went down into the brush.

Terry and I came inside and he was going to unload the camera. I went back into the kitchen to take care of those dishes – and saw the ‘daddy’ moose right outside the window. I yelled that time! We grabbed the camera and came outside, but only got two pictures of him. We were like two little kids – practically jumping up and down – so excited that the whole family came into our yard. Well, I like to think it was a family but since it’s rutting season, the male was probably just following the female. Terry said that I probably wouldn’t have been quite so excited seeing them if one of them had tried to use the pond!

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Happy Birthday, Melissa

Today is my son’s wife’s birthday. Melissa is a another of the special women in our family. She’s overcome some pretty good sized obstacles in her early life, and is one strong, empowered woman! Melissa is a stay-at-home mom with four kids, no small feat, especially when you take into account that she takes care of my son, too! (I told you he was a baby! Probably requires more care than all 4 of the kids). I not only love Melissa because she is my daughter-in-law, I admire her greatly. She has an innate sense of who she is and where she’s going. I am always in awe of the woman she is!

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Family and Blogging

This “blogging with family” experience is affording me new insight to my family. I’ve found myself thinking a lot about our family, after reading daily posts from my sister, my two daughters, new friends who share about their families, and discussing it all with my unnamed sister who won’t join us.

Of course, I’ve always been aware of Quilldancer’s talents, her intelligence, prose and humor. I have some published works of hers, and have long been the recipient of her letters and chats. It’s phenomenal how her mind works. But now I am seeing strains of the same in my daughters. They also have a talent for expressing themselves, for sharing, for humor. And they have those unbreakable ties that are at the core of my heart. Like the family ties that I see as they correspond with each other and with their Aunt.

To describe my biological family as dysfunctional, would be describing it kindly. I had a councilor once tell me that it’s unusual that I have a closeness with my siblings…that the normal for siblings that come from families like ours, is to completely distance and divorce themselves from each other. That has not happened with me and my siblings. Thank you, Higher Power.

And my children, oh my. I have been so blessed. I always ‘maintain my gratitude’ for my life, for my family. Cindra, Brooke and Scott have been my very life. Because of them, I was able to carry on through some times I never thought I’d make it through. And like the wind that blew in my life…I’ve been some of the wind in theirs. (Trees that endure wind over long periods, bow with the wind and are the strong trees. Weak ones are toppled by the wind). Nearly twenty four years ago, I ended an 8 year love affair I had with alcohol, one that made me ‘emotionally’ absent, and that was at odds with being the kind of mother I wanted to be and thought I was. I was blessed in the fact that I got to end the dysfunction within my family.

I don’t dwell (too much) on the negatives aspects that were wrought during either my upbringing, or during my children’s. Since I can’t change it, I’ve learned to embrace the wind. What came before is what made us who and what we are. And oh how much I like who and what we are! No victims. We are strong. We are survivors. We are fairly intelligent, interesting and interested people, caring, thoughtful and loving. You can knock us down, but you can’t keep us down. Somewhere along the line, (the good and the bad) we got some hardy genes!

But the best of God’s gifts to me, is the love and like my children have for me. And that which I have for them. Not only do I love them with my life, I like them each so very much. That they like me too, is a blessing. Though they’ll always be babies to me, though I’ll always tell them what to do (not that they listen!), and though I’ll always worry about them – I am aware (somewhere inside me) that they are adults. Wow. I don’t know how that happened. But they grew up to be wonderful people. People I never get tired of spending time with, and never get enough time with.

Cindra is a vibrant, alive woman, with multiple talents. She has a great passion for what we are leaving the next generation, and she doesn’t just talk it, she walks the talk. She is the kind of mother to her children, that I always wanted to be to mine. Brooke is my mercurial child. She spits one minute and giggles the next. She is full of life and loves it, and it shows in all she does. She is in the helping profession – and gives of herself by going on missions overseas – to give back. Scott is a ‘mama’s boy’ at almost 34 years old. He has no problem with that – and his wife just laughs at him. He’s my baby, the youngest. Yet he’s the father of 4 children. He married a woman with 2 children, they had a baby together, and they adopted a baby three years ago. I think that this one fact will earn him jewels in his crown someday: if you observe him playing with his four children he loves so….I’d wager that you couldn’t pick out which one is his biological child. And I’d wager that if you tried, you would be wrong. What a good, honest, loving man he is. And what a sense of humor he has!

So far, this blogging has had great returns for me – and seeing my family interact in a different manner is just an added bonus!

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Close Encounters

Had to share this with Sister Quilly.

This little deer friend came to visit a total of four times this spring/summer. The first time I saw her, I was sitting on the edge of one of my raised beds, inside the garden gate, and digging away. My cat was stretched out in one of the flower beds in front of me. I heard a noise behind me, looked up to see Miss Kitty in her usual position, and quickly turned around. There stood this beautiful second year fawn!

I yelled for my husband, Terry, who was working in the shop. When I yelled his name (and boy, can I yell) he came tearing out of there. He said later that he thought I was being killed. (Also said not to yell like that again!) I thought sure the fawn would run when I yelled – but she never moved. I was just in shock. I couldn’t believe a deer came into my garden and was so close to me. Terry wasn’t shocked, just worried about my getting hurt if the fawn felt cornered and got into a panic. He made me leave the garden and he shooed her away. She was definitely in no hurry to leave – she’d found all the tasty greens!

A little later I was in the front yard watering when the fawn came to visit again. She would come up and sniff my hand, but wouldn’t eat the grass I offered. I was so excited, so happy, it was a great feeling. And of course, I yelled for Terry again. Things like this just don’t happen.

I was beginning to think ‘little Jackie is so special – the deer come to visit her’. And while I’m basking in my “specialness”, the neighbors from up on the top of the hill came driving by. When they saw the fawn in the yard they stopped to say, “Oh, you met our little friend. She comes up and eats grain at our place and lets us walk up to her. She also goes to the neighbors on the other side of the hill and plays with their dog”.

That deflated my balloon…guess I’m not so special after all! But it was still one of the highlights of my summer. I see deer everyday, more now that they are so hungry – but I’ve not had any “close encounters” until this year!

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